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Convict XI, Series

Convict XI – Goalkeeper

Convict XI

The qualifying criterion for this team is straightforward. If the player has served time behind bars then they automatically get into the team. For other players, the association with criminal enterprise will be enough and then there are just those guys who look like criminals and will find a spot here.


Nominee – Bruce “Jungleman” Grobelaar

Small time player, allegedly

There is an honourable mention for former Liverpool goal minder, Bruce Grobelaar, who was accused by the British tabloid, The Sun, of match fixing during his time at Liverpool. Grobelaar was allegedly caught on videotape (what old folks had before DVD) discussing match fixing to benefit a betting syndicate. Grobelaar pleaded not guilty, faced two successive trials in which the jury could not agree on a verdict and was eventually cleared in November 1997.

Nominee – Rene Higuita

This man looks like a gangster

Another notable nominee is Jose Rene Higuita Zapata of Colombia, who is more well-known for this outrageous piece of skill. Back in 1993, however, Higuita was imprisoned after getting involved in a kidnapping. Acting as a go-between for the drug barons Pablo Escobar and Carlos Molina, he was largely responsible for securing the release of Molina’s daughter by delivering the ransom money. He received $64,000 for his services, which breaks Colombian law as it is an offence to profit from a kidnapping. He was incarcerated for seven months before being released without charge. Commenting on the case, he has stated that “I’m a footballer, I didn’t know anything about kidnapping laws”.

Higuita even looked like a criminal, so that would ordinarily have been enough to get him into the team.

Starter – Bruno

I wouldn't mess with this guy

However, the starting keeper berth goes to Bruno Fernandes de Souza, aka Bruno (not to be confused with the flamboyant Austrian fashion reporter).

On 9 June 2010 Bruno’s girlfriend, Eliza Samudio, disappeared. In July of 2010, Bruno was formally charged with murder, kidnapping, hiding a body, forming a criminal gang and corrupting minors.According to police, Bruno’s teenage cousin stated that Samudio’s body was cut up and some parts were fed to dogs, while other parts were buried under concrete.


About Ticha Pfupajena

I'm beginning to get the sense that my career as a professional footballer may not happen. As a result, I'll try write about football and sports instead....


4 thoughts on “Convict XI – Goalkeeper

  1. Wow….

    Posted by Gus | 07/12/2011, 16:01
  2. Sometimes Jerzy Dudek’s keeping was temperamental, bordering on criminal.

    One can also say that Oliver Kahn was in danger of killing someone on the pitch.

    However, seeing as we are talking about goalkeepers that belong in the Convict XI I would also like to offer a different perspective and present someone that would never appear in the Convict XI…………………………….Chris Kirkland.

    Posted by Starsky | 07/12/2011, 16:10
  3. Great idea for a series, Ticha – I look forward to seeing where this goes.

    And thanks for linking that “outrageous piece of skill” by Higuita – truly awesome bit of keeping!

    Posted by Sentinel | 07/12/2011, 17:56

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Ticha Pfupajena

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